these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your penis caused this!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
