My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
