Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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