Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
