chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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