i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
