ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
