Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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