i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
