this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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