Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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