im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
