mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
