Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
