Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
