remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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