like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I love having hate sex.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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