I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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