I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
