wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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