marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
