she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize