no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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