Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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