I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
