nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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