first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
