We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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