I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Life is so much better after having sex.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
