I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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