omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
