If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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