i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
