No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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