You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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