I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
