she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
