when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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