No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
