how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
