Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
