yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize