I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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