Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
