Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
