True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ladies don't puke and tell
You ate ashes out of my bong
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
