So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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