Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
