I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
