Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
