my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
