Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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