my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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