Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ugly people sure do ruin things
no you cant smoke seaweed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
