awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize