I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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