Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
