you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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