We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
