love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
