Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
