Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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