Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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