Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
