Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
